Don’t be Koi

copyright Douglas M. McIlroy

copyright Douglas M. McIlroy


         “Sir–SIR!” The waitress’ cry came too late; she flushed an unbecoming shade of red that clashed with her green kimono and bleached hair.
         Other diners were staring disapprovingly at the man standing thigh deep in the decorative pond. Bethany looked around helplessly for her manager before shoving back her oversized silk sleeves and stalked over to the wader. He stared intently down at the fish.
         “Sir, please exit the Koi pond. And Golden Buddha,” Bethany said.
         “But it’s my pond.” He turned towards her.
         “What?”
         “I just bought this place,” he said with a debonair smile. “I’m Bruce Wayne.”

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46 thoughts on “Don’t be Koi

  1. LOL this was so cute. i actually imagined him as the real Bruce Wayne. then thought that maybe the guy’s just seriously drunk. either way, it’s hilarious 🙂

    • Thanks so much! I liked the idea that it could go either way–I DIDN’T have him diving in with two hot models, since that would leave no room for the duality. Glad you liked it!

    • I’m not sure if the title even goes with the story, but I just couldn’t pass up the pun. And yes, ALWAYS be Batman. Glad you liked it!

      I could wax not-so-eloquently on why Batman is better than 99.99% of heroes…but I might stir up a lot of controversy. Maybe a blog post is in my future…. The wrath of comic aficionados will rain down on me.

      • THANK YOU. I’ll just have to be prepared for the barrage of “But what about this lesser known character and his arc?” Because, really, I’m not that knowledgeable outside my dad’s ancient comics, my childhood cartoons, and recent Batman movies. What the hell, it’s my blog. I’ll be counting on you to agree heartily.

      • It gives you license to do so many things. Well, within reason. As in, I can’t chop off all my hair and dye it bright blue because, well, I would probably never be employed.

      • I really wonder if in our grand-children’s (oh good lord, let that be in the FAR distant future for me) wprk culture, tattoos and piercings and hair color will be less of a big deal?

      • Oh, good question. That is one thing that, so far, hasn’t changed much with time. I hope that, in this far distant future, I haven’t turned into a conservative old bag who is appalled by what the “youts” are doing to their “poor bodies!” Because… I mean… I might.

      • I’m more worried I’ll be swilling straight vodka and not be waiting for the clock to strike 5:00…

        But very true. Although with the invention of this here internet, our progeny will be able to see what we REALLY thought. Talk about blackmail…

    • Rochelle,

      Glad the puns weren’t too much of a punishment. A guy who spends that much time in caves when he has a perfectly good mansion has to be a bit off. Thanks for reading!

  2. A wonderful twist on the current meme: “I’m Batman.” It made me giggle. Just what I needed with my morning coffee – Bruce Wayne, dancing with the fishes.

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