Friday Fictioneers you know the drill. If you don’t, go here to find the photo, write 100 words, and link back with the blue froggy. Read, write, comment, enjoy!
At least no one will come in today, Jefferson thought, watching the waters rise outside the Food N More corner store.
He scratched his chin, cursing his blunt razor, and leaned on the bagging station counter. He looked down at the toes of his Converse and froze. There, on the white toe and spilling over onto the faded green fabric.
“Hey, Marty! I’m gonna grab the carts!” Jefferson knew Marty was back by the skin magazines.
He didn’t wait for a response before he splashed out into the flooded parking lot, making sure the rainwater washed away all the blood.
Vers Les Etoiles 
…… and in the end should someone die? This kind of reminded me of Stephen King’s The Mist (if you haven’t seen this one, Hannah, honest to God, woman, what HAVE you been watching — stop whatever you’re doing and watch it!).
Now, I have to beg the question — is Marty actually dead, and Jefferson’s just speaking for someone else’s benefit, or is the victim an unknown?
I like the attention to detail with the white rubber and the canvas of the shoes.
Hey, he totally could have cut himself shaving and is incredibly squeamish about blood. Adding it to the list! Marty is alive and enjoying himself rather too much. If you catch my drift.
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Ah… he’s shaving because it’s getting close to a full moon. Gotcha.
Or because it already passed…
Sure, another possibility. I recommend Schick Quattro.
I’ll let Jefferson know! I’m sure they have some lying around.
Very interesting, and nicely left.
Love it.
Thank you!
I wasn’t anticipating the ending, great job 🙂
Thanks, Helen!
Whoa! I was not expecting that! Now I want to know more! Great way of hooking me in!! (Is there more to this story?) 😛
I personally really like to leave my Friday Fictioneers posts open ended (much as it may annoy some readers 🙂 ) So there’s what I know about the story and then there’s whatever the readers want to make up about it. So either way, yes! There is more to the story.
Cleverly constructed. Nice ne.
Thank you, Sandra!
beautifully expressed and gave a surprise at the end. Well done.
Thank you!
Dear Wanderer,
I agree with Sandra. Lots going on here that we don’t know about.
Aloha,
Doug
I like to make you guys work, what can I say? Thanks for reading!
Dear Wanderer,
Must be a hell of a cut if it dripped. Or is there something I missed? Interesting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
There is a cut–the question is, whose?
Oh, you left us hanging and unsatisfied in the worst way, W. But it does give my imagination scope and permission to roam while I’m making muffins in a few minutes. 🙂 (“Converse” would rate a “C” rather than a “c”, since it’s a brand name.)
janet
I was feeling a bit evil–I like to make you guys guess and come up with your own endings, especially since they’re usually completely different from what I’m thinking. And thank you re: the correction–that one slipped by me.
You have indeed left us hanging.And need more. Without which I envision a hold up gone wrong and the employees lying about dead. Jefferson’s partner Marty in the back stocking up before their getaway. Perhaps it is a good thing the storm is keeping others away.
That is a great ending! I hadn’t considered it–love what you came up with!
You story definitely got my mind working. 🙂
That’s where I went!
Interesting twist at the end…learning the blood is obviously not his own!
Oh and the bagging left me intrigued… but i have an evil mind,
I didn’t even think about how the bagging could be suspicious…I like all the endings everyone in the comments has come up with!
Oooh, chills. Wonderful atmosphere, suspense, and a fantastic story: beginning, middle and end. Leaves me wanting more, more, more. One of my favorites.
Thank you! I like to leave everyone on a cliffhanger with these—so fun to see what people think is happening!