It may be frowned upon to use preexisting characters in a Friday Fictioneers, but if you want to know more about our adventurers, feel free to check out The Ungrateful Dead, Stings, and Vegas is the Meanest Town.
photo by David Stewart
Evie perched on the rusted metal skeletal remains of the sign, trying to see through the fog. Owen was several feet away, checking and re-checking his guns.
“They’re not coming,” he said, running his hands over the painted handle of his machete.
“They said they would be here,” Evie hugged her knees to her chest, glaring at the steely gray sky.
The rumble of an engine broke the chilly silence as the little Cessna 206 dropped out of the clouds. She stood to wave, losing her balance. Owen’s hands caught her easily. She pulled away as the plane began to circle.
Vers Les Etoiles 
This is a really nice story. Enjoyable ending too. 😀
Thank you!
while it is part of a larger piece, I could still get into the scene and understand what was happening.
Thanks, Carrie! I was hoping it could stand on its own, but those characters just wanted to be written about today, too.
I have no idea how you write shorts that make sense. I am such a rambler. Excellent as always.
Oh goodness, thank you for thinking so! I have to arrange and re-arrange and cut and smash words together to get under 100. It’s been hard adding dialogue lately, too!
I can’t even imagine. One bloody sentence and I would be over a hundred. You have my respect.
Maybe next time I will try to write one that is entirely one sentence…
As for your respect, excuse me while I go fan girl in the corner…
Lol you are so much fun.
I do my best…otherwise the squirrels might get me!
It may or may not be frowned upon to use existing characters but as long as the piece stands alone, you’re good to go. 🙂
janet
Well good! I hope I succeeded then
Great job! Leaving me quite curious. What’s chasing them that they need guns and a machete? Zombie? Killer Clowns from Outer Space? They??? (Shoot the antennae!)
Very fun, I like it. 🙂
For my purposes it’s zombies, but for Friday fictioneers I guess it can be anything!
Dear Wanderer,
Using an excerpt from a longer work is acceptable as long as it stands alone. With our growing list of writers, it’s tedious to have to link back to another piece to understand what’s going on. Good job. You succeeded.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, Rochelle! Usually my tidbits from Friday Fictioneers have a way of working themselves into my larger pieces, but this one was backwards. I’m glad it followed the rules 😉
I think this scene certainly stands alone just fine… you set up suspense nicely here, with the armed group waiting, and we’ll have to see what happens with that circling plane…
Thank you! I’m glad the tension was clear—it’s sometimes hard to get that feeling in only 100 words!
This is well written as always, darling, and since I”m familiar with the characters I already sympathize with them, so I’m not sure I’m able to give an objective critique (it also doesn’t help that I’m currently wearing my HANNAH SEARS FOR PRESIDENT t-shirt…. am I? Or is that a fabrication? Hmm…)
Anyhow, the problem I always have with “serials” as flash fiction is that I know that the story goes on — and I want MORE MORE MORE, dammmit!
However, I do think that this was well confined to the space allowed. More, please.
Well, since you’re wearing such a fabulous shirt, how can I resist? Don’t worry, there will be more Evie and Owen. Maybe even today since I am in the office and the rest of the world is…not.
BOOOO! (You want I should get on a plane and together we can egg your boss’ car?)
My boss isn’t even here…maybe we could desecrate his parking spot?
This story stood perfectly well on its own. Well done. and recurring characters are to be delighted in.
Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it.