The lurid painting above the bar fascinated him. The vivid colors were such that he paid no attention to what was depicted. Slanting sunlight glanced off the rows of bottles behind the bar and made the rose colored lampshades glow. The leather seat was cool against his arm as he rested it along the back, craning his neck. Waiting, watching. For her. He saw her reflection in the mirror above the bar; tight black pants and silk top that caressed every curve. He stood to greet her and she flung herself into his arms. She was alone in the mirror.
Some lovely language in here, darling, and you know how I long to linger languorously over linguistic locution. “Slanting sunlight glanced off the rows of bottles behind the bar and made the rose colored lampshades glow.” is especially eloquent. I fear you may have lost me on the goings-on of it all, but I suspect it’s ghostly in nature. Please elaborate whilst I ruminate. If you don’t want to spoil it for others, drop me a line at helenahannbasquiat@gmail.com
Either he’s a ghost or a vampire, as the latter supposedly don’t show up in mirrors. I say “supposedly” as I’ve never tested the theory for myself or known anyone who has.) 🙂 Now that I see the tags, (those give-aways!!), I see I was right. As Helen mentioned, lovely descriptions.
janet
Thank you so much! I was thinking vampire when I wrote it, but hell, if other people want to think ghost, who am I to tell them otherwise! Thanks for stopping by!
I thought in two separate worlds
Nice thing about imagination we can take it wherever
Nice thing about fiction! LOVE your take on it though…wish I’d thought of it *grumble.* Thanks for stopping by!
I enjoyed this.
Thank you!
Neatly constructed and very well written.
More vampires! What is it about the picture that evokes the thoughts about vampires?
I haven’t had a chance to read all the other posts–were there more vampire stories? Or are you referring to the fact that I have several vampires popping up on my blog?
Thanks for reading!
At least one other vampire story in the first two dozen.
ah well, I can’t expect to be original! I’ve had vampires on the brain lately and there was just something sinister about the cafe/bar to me. I’ll go check out the other offerings!
I was thinking ghost but vampires are sexier anyway. After all, they only disappear in mirrors. (Though they do also turn into bats so maybe I’ll go with the multiple worlds take 🙂
It would not be Friday Fictioneers without a vampire, multiple murders and a hair snipping incident (we had two of those last week). The fun is in reading all the different unique takes and twists and you certainly did a very good job on that here.
Dear Wanderer,
Nice that you wandered our way. Welcome. Vivid writing but I’ll admit I needed the explanations to get that he’s a vampire and he wouldn’t have a reflection. I’m a little slow this morning.
shalom,
Rochelle
Rochelle,
Thank you (and the other founders/organizers/creators) of Friday Fictioneers, I’m excited to take part. You weren’t the only one that missed the vampire connection…I probably could have made it clearer, but I wanted that “wait what?” moment at the end.
Thanks for reading!
Maybe I was influenced by the previous stories I read, so didn’t get vampire nor ghost. Thought the image was hoping. Dressed up for it. Well-written if this got diverse insights.
Thank you! Not a lot of people got the vampire twist, but I’m kind of glad people were able to put their own spin on it. Thanks for stopping by!
That last line really took me off guard. Nicely done.
Thanks so much! I’ve been feeling like it was too vague from the feedback–so, something to work on in the future! Thanks for reading!
Enjoyable read. I thought ghost, then vampire. You have used some lovely descriptive writing in this piece.
Welcome to FF
Dee
Thank you, Dee! I’m excited to be a part of it all!
oh dear, this can’t end well… (and it was I who had the other vamp)
Ah yes, I read yours yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. I believe mine has a slightly better chance of ending well than yours, however. I wonder how often your bar has a “Help Wanted” sign in the window? Whenever they run out?
I think they might just sire some of the better food-deliveries.
And then there’s that!
You have a very nice flair for description. I loved the ending. It’s kind of open for the reader to project his preferences onto. My first impression was that she was imagining the man and living a vivid life in her own illusion.
Thank you, Linda! I like your take on it! I’m glad that the vague ending seems to have added to, rather than deterred from, the piece!
Oh yes. I think your open ending was perfect for this piece.
Unfortunately – I thought ghost so the he/she was alone in the mirror was a little lost on me – I read the end twice in confusion and then decided to read some comments to shed some light (another thing vampires don’t like!) Now I know, it all makes sense and is the perfect ending. A good flash write nevertheless, it is late and I have been reading and writing all day – it is probably me and not a reflection on your composition.
You’re not alone! I would guess it was the vague ending and not you. Somehow that managed to work in my favor though. But yes, vampire and not ghost. Thanks for stopping by!
Reblogged this on My Bewildered Brain.